entry.

I dont know what's gotten into me.

I want to write, but i refrain.

Could it be?

First, I wrote of rain, then i wrote of floods, then i wrote of seeds, then growth, then sun and then blooming, and then a beautiful garden.
Why? I asked, and i thought I knew then.

Second, started with a set of pretty flowers given to me, and then another and another. And one day, all I found was their remnant ashes.
Why? I asked, and i thought I knew not this time.
Some things have no reasons to be, or maybe you're better off not asking.

Everytime I'm just left wondering why?
And Im amazed at the Faith in me.

And the questions bit at me, tearing pieces of my dreams away almost every night.
Hardly anymore now.
They're fading...

But when they decide to make an appearance they haunt me, and penetrate hard in any thoughts I may be having, like sharp daggers, in, out, in, out, cut, hurt, cut, hurt, slither out slowly, painfully-make sure it hurts.
It hurts, stop.
The pain.
I don't want it anymore.
Memory help me out this time. I need you. I need you to work in my favour...
sanity help me out too..
overall... mind... shut them out. Off.
Im asking you, please.

breathe deeply...
in.. and out...

wasn`t so bad, see?

Get ready to do it all over again.
It's what life is full of.

Peaking highs, and dirty lows.

And then, like a foolish woman get ready to love a man who doesnt know the meaning of you, or your love. Get ready to love a child who will never understand all your efforts until it's way too late for you to ever find out they grew to be an age where they appreciated it. Get ready to be a woman to the world.
Touch, Feel more.
Kiss, Live more.
Love, Give more.

it's funny what it is to be a woman.
Learn to forgive, heal your own heart, because nobody will heal it for you.
Once again, give them more, expect nothing, smile, and see the world flashing before your eyes, when all they see when they look at you is a mere form. Nothing but a humanly form.

...just a Human.